Just when you thought the day couldn’t get any worse—just when you believed that organized crime or yet another morning-show controversy were the only things capable of breaking our hearts and making us tremble—BAM! Fate, biology, and social media dealt us a slap of reality that left us cold, shaking, and scared out of our wits.

It surely happened to you, too, just a little while ago. There you were, lounging like a king in your armchair, scrolling through Facebook or TikTok to disconnect for a bit from the stress of work or the hellish traffic—or perhaps just complaining about the heat, which is so intense it feels like even the dogs’ paws are melting. And suddenly… BOOM!

Your phone vibrated with that diabolical fury that, in this magical, surreal, and heart-stopping country of ours, signals only two things: either it’s the earthquake that’s “due” any moment now (knock on wood), or it’s a NATIONAL DISASTER of epic proportions that’s going to freeze your blood. But it wasn’t the phone itself. It was your own biology, thrown into confusion by the morbid allure of the digital world. Upon glancing at the screen, you stumbled upon a headline—truncated by Zuckerberg’s treacherous algorithm—that looked like a death sentence disguised as a home remedy: